Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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