They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
this beer tastes like vomit already
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
