Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
