if i died would you start the facebook group?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
