I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just want to make out with him forever
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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