I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Too much gin, very little bucket
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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