Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
