there was a trapeze. enough said
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I AM VODKA MAN
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
