you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
