Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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