I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
