She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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