I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I need water and some morals
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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