so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
