i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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