i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
