I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
