i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
