never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
