Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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