I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
