Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
