I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
