whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The adults are the big ones right?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
