i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
