i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize
