no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
