she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
