Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
