you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
she looked like the before picture.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
