my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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