everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
