I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
