Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
