hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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