Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
