i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
