I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
