is wine microwaveable?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
