Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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