Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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