I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
