The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
