at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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