im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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