I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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