my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
God, I missed his penis.
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