belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
