so that wasnt chicken after all
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
