I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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