I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
